(Saint Dirty Face Rant — Uncensored but Not Cancelled)

Everywhere I look there’s an ad for some “3-D anatomical support pouch.”

Apparently the 21st-century man needs a personal hammock for his gear.

Comfort revolution?

More like comfort mutiny.

Back in our day we had two crotch choices: right side or left side.

Pick a lane, zip up, move on.

No ergonomic micro-sling with temperature control.

If it got sweaty, you dealt with it — preferably after the job was done.

Now I see guys celebrating underwear like it’s a tech startup.

“Reduces friction… enhances airflow… improves fertility…”

Buddy, it’s a pair of shorts.

If your masculinity needs a Kickstarter, maybe it’s not the underwear.

What really gets me isn’t the fabric — it’s the mind-set.

We traded “walk it off” for “where’s my moisture-wicking pouch.”

We raised a generation that confuses comfort for courage.

Gen X rule of thumb:

If your mom called you by your full government name, you didn’t post about it —

you shut the fuck up and sat down because you knew judgment day had arrived.

Now?

Someone raises their voice and the kid’s already live-streaming a TED Talk on boundaries.

Saint Dirty Face verdict:

Man up.

Pick a crotch side — right or left.

Stop acting like the road to resilience is lined with memory-foam.

You want to be the man?

You’ll have to first beat the man — no pouch required.

Stay Dirty. Stay Manly™