Ten Rules for Surviving a Pisces (NSFW Edition)

Forget horoscopes. This isn’t about star signs—it’s about survival signs. Pisces don’t do cute fishbowls and fortune cookies. We do late-night smoke signals, broken halos, and rules carved into bathroom stalls. If you can’t hang, leave. If you stay, know the cost.

Rule 1: Give Respect / Get Respect

Translation: Touch my soul gently, and I’ll guard yours with teeth. Disrespect me? I’ll drag your secrets into the street and let the wolves vote on your fate.

Rule 2: Be Real or Leave. Fake people taste like cheap vodka and regret. Both give me a headache. Don’t waste my liver or my time.

Rule 3: Actions Speak Louder Than Words. Talk dirty if you want—but back it up. Empty promises don’t make me hard; they make me violent.

Rule 4: I Suck at Apologies. If you’re waiting for me to grovel, bring a tent. You’ll die camping.

Rule 5: You Should Have Listened to Me. I warned you once. I whispered it twice. Ignore me a third time, and I’ll watch you burn, sipping something strong, humming Zeppelin.

Rule 6: Whatever You Do, I’ll Find Out. Pisces intuition isn’t a gift—it’s surveillance with extra caffeine. Lie to me, and I’ll know before you unzip your excuse.

Rule 7: Don’t Let My Honesty Offend You Truth hurts. Good. If you can’t bleed, you’re not alive.

Rule 8: Chill and Accept the Crazy

My “crazy” is just passion with the safety off. Either ride shotgun or jump out before the car hits 100.

Rule 9: I Make My Own Rules

Your playbook? Cute. Mine’s written in scars, sins, and late-night text messages I shouldn’t have sent.

Rule 10: Sarcasm Because Beating People Up Is Illegal. Words are my brass knuckles. You’ll still leave bruised.

So yeah—top 10 rules of Pisces. Written at midnight, read at your own risk. You wanted zodiac fluff; you got a dark gospel.

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Saint Dirty Face™
Stay Dirty, Stay Dangerous™
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