Saint Dirty Face
Faith, Dirty Grace, and a Whole Lotta Whiskey, Regret, and Resurrection.
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There’s something wrong with Christmas.
Not the lights.
Not the music.
Not even the drunk uncles arguing about politics in the corner.
It’s the vibe.
Everybody’s tense. Everybody’s broke. Everybody’s counting receipts instead of memories.
Kids want five things they saw on TikTok.
Parents are sweating credit card interest like it’s a second mortgage.
And somewhere between Amazon Prime and mall parking lot rage, we forgot why the hell this season exists.
So I was sitting there the other night, nursing a drink, watching the world eat itself…
when Baby Jesus sat down next to me.
Yeah.
That Baby Jesus.
No glow. No choir. No Instagram halo.
Just a kid wrapped in a blanket, looking at humanity like we’d lost our damn minds.
He didn’t ask for anything.
He just said:
“Why are they so lonely when they’re surrounded by so many people?”
Oof.
That one hit harder than a hospital bill.
Because we traded each other for everything else.
We traded meals for gluttony.
We traded love for likes.
We traded peace for hustle.
We traded soul for status.
We turned a holiday about a poor family, in a dirty barn, holding a miracle…
into a consumer hunger games.
And the saddest part?
Nobody feels full.
We got houses stuffed with stuff and hearts starving for connection.
You know what Baby Jesus didn’t care about?
He didn’t care if your tree was big.
He didn’t care if your gifts were expensive.
He didn’t care if you wore something sparkly.
He cared if you were alone.
And Saint Dirty Face knows that pain real well.
Because I’ve been surrounded by people and still felt invisible.
I’ve been broke with company and rich with silence.
I’ve learned that loneliness doesn’t come from empty rooms — it comes from empty relationships.
That kid next to me?
He wasn’t here to judge.
He was here to remind.
We don’t need greed.
We don’t need gluttony.
We don’t need vanity.
We need each other.
That’s it.
That’s the gospel they forgot to print on Hallmark cards.
So this Christmas, sit next to someone.
Text someone you miss.
Forgive someone who hurt you.
Hold someone who’s barely holding it together.
The world doesn’t need more stuff.
It needs more us.
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Saint Dirty Face™
Stay Dirty, Stay Human™
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Christmas is supposed to be about caring.
Love.
Giving.
Family.
Laughter.
Instead we get…
anger, hostility, stress headaches, and kids handing you wish lists that look like a Wall Street portfolio.
“Here’s my top five, Dad.”
Cool.
Each one costs $400.
Son, at that price I’m not buying you a toy—I’m investing in you. Where’s your damn prospectus?
Meanwhile $500 doesn’t stretch like it did twenty years ago. Back then that was a solid Christmas.
Now? That’s like two LEGO sets and emotional damage.
We ask for a list.
We get a ransom note.
And the streets?
Packed with people you’ll never see again until next December.
They come out once a year like consumer-driven groundhogs:
buy shit, return shit, scream at cashiers, then vanish back into their caves.
Nobody’s shopping for joy.
They’re shopping for status.
Somewhere between Amazon carts and credit card debt, we forgot the point of Christmas.
It wasn’t supposed to be
“How much did you spend?”
It was supposed to be
“How much did you love?”
But here we are—
another year almost in the books,
broke, tired, and pretending this chaos is tradition.
Still…
we show up.
We wrap what we can.
We love who we have.
And we survive another round.
Because that’s the real miracle.
Stay Dirty.
Stay Humble.
And if all else fails—stay fed, because these kids ain’t cheap. 😈🎄
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It’s wild how many people wait until the last possible second to shop.
Parking lot jammed.
No spaces.
No mercy.
Inside?
Humans moving like herds of caffeinated cattle—aisle to aisle, grabbing anything with a red tag like it’s oxygen.
Death stares everywhere.
“Touch my cart again and see what happens.”
Kids running feral.
Yelling.
Crying.
Zero control.
You start scanning the room asking the ancient question:
Who the hell is the parent here?
So what’s the reason?
Forgot?
Broke?
Procrastinated into panic mode?
Some unholy combo platter?
I tried to be smart.
Placed a grocery order to avoid all this madness.
And yet—
Here I am.
Trapped in a Twilight Zone parking lot.
Already charged.
No escape.
Should I stay or should I go?
Too late. The money’s gone.
All I can do now is wait…
And wish I’d brought snacks.
Stay Dirty.
Stay Alive in the chaos.
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Hell yeah!! The closer the 25th gets the more “last person standing” we see.
Stay Dirty. Stay Civil.
More blogs to come late tonight.
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But Absolutely Aren’t**
Some texts don’t raise alarms.
They raise eyebrows… later.
These are the messages that pass as polite, casual, maybe even sweet—
until the other person reads them twice and realizes:
Oh. That’s what you meant.
Here are the five.
1. “That’s an interesting thought… I hadn’t considered it like that.”
This sounds thoughtful.
What it really says is: I’m now imagining it—and I like where it’s going.
2. “You’re surprisingly hard to ignore.”
Compliment? Yes.
Warning? Also yes.
3. “I should probably behave, but you’re not helping.”
On paper: playful.
In reality: consent to misbehave.
4. “I don’t think you realize the effect you’re having.”
No details.
No explanation.
Just enough to let their imagination finish the job.
5. “We’re still being good… right?”
This one is lethal.
Because no one asks this unless good is already slipping.
Why These Work
They don’t announce desire.
They imply awareness.
And awareness is hotter than intention.
Innocence is just plausible deniability wearing a smile.
The best messages don’t seduce the body.
They recruit the mind.
Tomorrow we slide deeper.
We flip control.
Until then—
Stay Dirty. Stay Dangerous.™
— Saint Dirty Face
👉 Read more at SaintDirtyFace.com
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SaintDirtyFace.etsy.com
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Quick hits. Plausible deniability. Phones face-down.
Not every spark needs gasoline.
Sometimes all it takes is the right sentence—short enough to pass as harmless, sharp enough to change the night.
These aren’t paragraphs.
They’re pressure points.
Use wisely.
1. “I almost texted you something reckless… then decided not to.”
You didn’t say it—but now they’re dying to know what you didn’t.
2. “You crossed my mind at a really inconvenient moment.”
Inconvenient how?
Exactly.
3. “Be honest—are you always this distracting?”
It’s playful.
It’s flattering.
It quietly hands them control… then takes it back.
4. “I should probably stop thinking about you like this.”
Like what?
You didn’t explain. You don’t need to.
5. “This conversation feels like it’s about to get me in trouble.”
The best texts don’t describe the destination.
They imply it.
Why These Work
They’re short.
They’re ambiguous.
They let the other person fill in the blanks—and the brain always makes it flirtier than words ever could.
That’s the art.
Flirting isn’t loud.
It’s precise.
Tomorrow we slide into DM territory.
Friday? We flip control.
Until then—
Stay Dirty. Stay Dangerous.™
— Saint Dirty Face
👉 Read more at SaintDirtyFace.com
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1.
“I had a completely innocent thought about you… then it wasn’t.”
Short. Unsettling. Leaves them imagining what flipped the switch.
2.
“Tell me something you only admit after midnight.”
This isn’t a question — it’s a trapdoor. Midnight honesty hits different.
3.
“I’m trying to behave, but you’re making that difficult just by existing.”
Power move. You’re not chasing — you’re resisting. That’s hotter.
4.
“Do you always have this effect on people, or am I special?”
Ego stroke + tension + invitation. Classic, lethal combo.
5.
“Careful… if you keep talking to me like that, I won’t be responsible for where this goes.”
This is the closer. It signals escalation without spelling it out.
Mystery beats anatomy every time.
Flirting isn’t about what you say — it’s about what you make them feel brave enough to imagine.
— Saint Dirty Face
Stay Dirty. Stay Dangerous.™
Saint Dirty Face 