Saint Dirty Face

Robert

Faith, Dirty Grace, and a Whole Lotta Whiskey, Regret, and Resurrection.

Visit my domain to dive face-first into the wild ride of my brain — a mashup of raw truths, dirty jokes, mental fistfights, and midnight rambles you didn’t know you needed. Saint Dirty Face. Imperfect on purpose. Faithful with fangs. Here to spill it all, laugh at the absurd, and maybe light a match under your too-comfortable chair.

  • The Neighbor Next Door (After Hours, Part I – Dirty Cut)

    Robert

    18+ Only – Saint Dirty Face After Dark

    Sarah McGillicuddy—28, fire-red hair brushing her shoulders, emerald eyes that caught light like stained glass, pale skin that looked both soft and dangerous. She wasn’t your cliché girl next door. She was the neighbor who made the hallway feel alive every time she passed—smiling, laughing, carrying that restless energy like a secret.

    Most days it was nothing more than polite nods and quick hello’s. But underneath? I knew there was more. I just hadn’t found the nerve to ask. Until one night at the mailbox, I finally did.

    “Any plans tonight?”

    She leaned against the wall, tilting her head, lips curving into that sly, playful smile that made it hard to breathe. “Not really. Thought about grabbing a drink, maybe hustling someone at pool. But my friends bailed on me, so… it was shaping up to be one of those rare boring nights.”

    That was all I needed.

    “Well, I’m not busy. What do you say we go? Whiskey, pool, just… something more than hallway small talk?”

    Her eyes flicked over me, quick and deliberate, like she was letting me know she’d thought about this before. That grin spread wider, soft but wicked.

    “I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever ask. Yes. Knock on my door at eight. There’s a bar a few blocks away—O’Malley’s. We can walk.”

    I grinned. “O’Malley’s? Perfect. Been there a few times.”

    She brushed her hair back, voice dropping into a whisper meant just for me.

    “Good. Wear something comfortable. I play pool fast, I drink whiskey slow… and I like winning.”

    She winked, then turned and left me standing there with my pulse hammering in my ears. Eight o’clock couldn’t come fast enough.

    Saint Dirty Face Closer

    Sometimes the fire’s been right next door the whole time. All it takes is asking, and the night burns wide open.

    Stay Dirty. Stay Wicked. – Saint Dirty Face

  • Dear NASA: Black Holes Are Just Cosmic Pranks, Change My Mind

    Robert

    So here’s the scam, kids: we’ve been lied to.

    All those documentaries with Morgan Freeman’s voice purring about “the great mysteries of spacetime”? Bullshit.

    Black holes aren’t noble mysteries of the cosmos. They’re intergalactic prank doors. Cosmic “WET PAINT” signs that keep luring scientists into staring contests with the void.

    You don’t get spaghetti-fied. You don’t get sucked into infinity like a majestic cosmic vacuum. You just… fall. Casually. Awkwardly. Like tripping on the curb outside Taco Bell at 2 AM. Except instead of nachos, you end up in a parallel universe where physics itself is drunk.

    And let’s talk about those wormholes we keep hearing about.

    Fake. All fake. From the outside, they look like a shimmering Stargate of infinite wonder. Step closer, though, and surprise—it’s just the universe slapping an “Out of Order” sign on reality. Nothing sucks you through. Nothing peels you apart into elegant space noodles. You just stumble in like an idiot and bam—you’re gone.

    Where do you end up?

    Welcome to the Bizarro Universe.

    Here’s what’s waiting for you on the other side:

    Boys are girls, girls are boys, dogs walk people, and Taco Bell is health food. Déjà vu? That creepy glitch where you’re sure you’ve seen this before? Yeah, because you have. Over there. Your Bizarro Twin already did it, and the memory just leaked across dimensions like a bad Wi-Fi signal. Gravity doesn’t even know what it’s doing. Up is down, down is up, and left and right file restraining orders against each other.

    And then you meet them. Your Bizarro Twin.

    The one who actually made good choices.

    The one who didn’t text their ex.

    The one who invested in Bitcoin instead of Funyuns.

    And guess what? They take one look at you and go, “Well shit—you’re the evil twin.”

    So what’s the moral?

    Maybe black holes aren’t gateways to salvation or science—they’re just the universe’s way of running a prank show. Cosmic Punk’d. You fall in, Ashton Kutcher pops out, and then gravity slaps you with the laugh track.

    Saint Dirty Face Says:

    “If you ever meet your Bizarro Twin in a black hole, do us all a favor—punch him first. Trust me, he was thinking the same thing.”

  • Dark Manipulation: The Cheap Parlor Tricks People Use

    Robert

    Ever had someone talk to you like you’re not a person—but a vending machine they’re trying to hack?

    That’s not charm. That’s manipulation. And the worst part? It’s rarely even original. These are recycled tricks people read off bathroom-stall psychology memes.

    Here’s the dirty seven:

    1. Make Them Smile

    “Let me butter you up before I stab you with my request.”

    Translation: fake clown grin before asking for your wallet, your secrets, or your soul.

    2. Use Your Name Often

    “Robert, don’t you agree, Robert? You’re so smart, Robert.”

    If someone says your name more than a barista does—run. They’re trying to Pavlov-bell your brain into obedience.

    3. Stay Quiet After a Question

    They drop a question, then sit there in silence like a creepy ventriloquist doll.

    Most people panic-fill the void with confessions. Don’t. Just lock eyes and let them sweat.

    4. Repeat Your Words Back

    “Oh, so you hate Mondays? Yeah, I hate Mondays too.”

    Groundbreaking. Next they’ll be finishing your sentences like an underpaid improv partner.

    5. Share a Harmless Secret

    “I once stole a grape from the grocery store.”

    Suddenly you’re spilling your darkest trauma like you’re on a confessional reality show. Nope. That’s bait. Don’t take it.

    6. Act Slightly Distracted

    They pretend they’re sooo busy just so you’ll chase harder. Pro tip: don’t chase. Let them be distracted by their own reflection.

    7. Let You Correct Them

    They’ll purposely mess up something small—like your birthday—so you feel clever for correcting them. That “win” is fake, a cheap magician’s trick while the real con happens offstage.

    The Bottom Line

    If someone pulls these moves on you, congratulations—you’ve met a second-rate hustler with Wi-Fi.

    Real connection doesn’t need games. Real connection is messy, honest, and maybe a little dangerous. But it’s real.

    Saint Dirty Face Says

    You don’t need tricks to own the room.

    You need guts. You need honesty. You need the stones to walk away when someone tries to play you like a scratched-up record.

    Stay dirty. Stay dangerous. And never, ever let some cheap manipulator rent space in your head.

    Peace & Love, bitches.

    —Saint Dirty Face

  • 🐉 The Dragon With Seven Heads: Myth, Empire, and the Endgame

    Robert

    Disclaimer:

    This isn’t Sunday school. This is history, myth, and prophecy colliding in one giant chaos-serpent. Take it or leave it, but don’t say no one told you.

    Revelation’s Red Dragon

    Revelation doesn’t hold back:

    “A great red dragon, with seven heads, ten horns, and seven crowns upon its heads.” (Rev. 12:3)

    That’s not just apocalyptic fan-fiction—it’s a cosmic remix of every chaos monster humanity’s ever feared. Serpents, hydras, Apep, Tiamat, Cipactli, Nagas—they’re all whispering through this image.

    Across Civilizations: The Same Beast

    India → Nagas & Shesha, the endless serpent with many heads. Guardian of time, but flip him dark, and he’s chaos incarnate.

    Mesopotamia → Tiamat, the primordial chaos-dragon, split by Marduk to create order.

    Egypt → Apep, the great serpent Ra fought every night to keep the sun alive.

    Mesoamerica → Cipactli, the devouring monster whose body became the world.

    Greece → Hydra, grow two heads every time you cut one off.

    Revelation doesn’t invent something new—it throws them all into the blender and says:

    “This is the final boss. All your myths were warm-ups.”

    The Seven Heads = Empires

    John spells it out:

    “The seven heads are seven kings… five have fallen, one is, and the other has not yet come.” (Rev. 17:9–10)

    Egypt → enslaver, chaos-serpent in Pharaoh’s crown.

    Assyria → brutal destroyer of nations.

    Babylon → exile and tower-builders of arrogance.

    Persia → empire of cosmic dualism, masked as order.

    Greece → Alexander’s hydra, swift and devouring.

    Rome → the beast in John’s backyard, seven hills, iron teeth.

    The Final Empire → not yet revealed. A resurrection of Babylon/Rome, global, crowned, and counterfeit divine.

    The Ten Horns = Future Rulers

    Revelation 17:12 says it plain:

    “Ten kings… who will receive authority with the beast for one hour.”

    The horns = temporary rulers, ten in number, who give their power to the dragon. Could be a revived Roman alliance, a UN-like coalition, or just a symbol of total worldly rule. Translation: when the endgame hits, every power on earth bends the knee to chaos.

    Why Seven and Ten?

    Seven = fullness, perfection → the perfected chaos of history’s empires. Ten = totality of human power → every last crown and government lining up behind the beast.

    The Pattern

    Every myth had it:

    Chaos serpent rises. Order, god, or hero fights back. Beast never really dies—just waits.

    Revelation says:

    This time, the serpent isn’t local. It’s not Egypt’s problem. Not Babylon’s. Not even Rome’s. It’s global. Seven heads wearing every past empire’s crown. Ten horns lending fresh power. The final remix of every chaos serpent we’ve ever imagined.

    The Saint Dirty Face Takeaway

    You can dress it up as history, myth, or prophecy—doesn’t matter. The point is this:

    The chaos beast is real, it’s always been real, and it always comes back.

    The only real question is:

    When it rises wearing all the crowns at once, will you bow to it—or will you fight?

    ✍️ Closing

    Stay dirty. Stay dangerous.

    History’s myths were never bedtime stories. They were warnings.

    — Saint Dirty Face

  • Into the Out-of-Town Abyss

    Robert

    So we rolled into San Antonio with the idea of hitting a clearance, chilling, maybe finding some peace in a day away.

    Spoiler alert: peace didn’t RSVP.

    Three teenage kids. Three different opinions.

    Three different volumes.

    Three different debates about literally everything.

    It was like watching C-SPAN, but with hormones and TikTok slang.

    I say this with love. (Maybe. Jury’s still out.)

    Downtown? Chaos.

    The mall? Endless “but I don’t like that store” debates.

    Dinner? Less “breaking bread” and more “breaking my patience.”

    And these aren’t little kids anymore—they’re mid-to-older teens. Which means their default setting is goddamn annoying.

    No mute button. No off switch. Just pure adolescent surround-sound.

    But here’s the kicker: alcohol exists. 🍹

    A couple of drinks later, their mouths were still moving, but my ears had officially filed for divorce.

    Bliss. Absolute bliss.

    So finally, the day ends.

    I sink into a chair, fire up Family Guy, and lose it at the line:

    “Meg throws away tiny humans that come out of her body all the time.”

    And just like that, life felt okay again.

    Saint Dirty Face PSA of the Day:

    Drink alcohol until the kids’ voices go mute.

    (It won’t fix the chaos, but it’ll fix you.)

  • PSA: The Daily Confidence Code – From Saint Dirty Face

    Robert

    Because the hallway doesn’t care about your outfit — it respects your energy.

    If you’re walking into school today, this is your playbook.

    Print it. Save it. Screenshot it. Whatever you have to do — make it the first thing you read every morning until it’s in your bones.

    The Daily Confidence Code

    I know who I am. Smart, strong, and unique. No one else decides my worth.

    I walk tall. Head up, shoulders back. I take my space in the world.

    I look people in the eye. Confidence without a word.

    I control my reactions. Rude people want a reaction. I don’t give them one unless I choose to.

    I keep it short. “Okay.” “Noted.” “Anyway…” and move on.

    I find one good thing. I notice something good in someone and say it.

    I choose my circle. Friends I trust, laugh with, and learn from.

    I remember my wins. I’ve done awesome things before — and I’ll do more today.

    I don’t feed the drama. If it won’t matter in a week, it’s not worth my time.

    I say no when I mean it. No excuses. No nervous laugh.

    I fuel my body. Sleep, water, and food keep me ready.

    I’m ready for anything. Surprises don’t scare me — I adjust.

    I wait before reacting. I play the long game.

    I have my people. At least one adult here’s got my back.

    I think bigger. School is a chapter, not the whole book.

    I laugh when I can. Humor is armor.

    I celebrate myself. I give myself credit when I earn it.

    I remember the truth. One bad moment ≠ a bad life.

    Saint Says:

    “Confidence is quiet. You don’t need to be the loudest in the hallway — just the one who owns their steps. You’re not just going to school. You’re building the person you’re going to be.”

  • PSA: The School Year Confidence Kickstart — From Saint Dirty Face

    Robert

    Because the hallway jungle respects confidence, not perfect grades.

    Part 1 of 2 – The Confidence & Resilience Blueprint (Parent/Coach Version)

    (For parents, mentors, big brothers/sisters — or anyone raising a young legend.)

    The new school year is here. You can buy the sneakers, the binders, the overpriced pencils that apparently “write smoother,” but if you don’t hand them confidence, you’re sending them in half-armored.

    Here’s the 20-point build to make your kid bulletproof to drama, shade, and hallway politics:

    Identity First – Help them define who they are beyond grades and cliques.

    Morning Power Ritual – Shoulders back, chin up, a 2-minute power stance.

    Walk Like You Own the Halls – Purpose in every step.

    Eye Contact Is Currency – Respect starts with a steady look.

    Pause Before You Snap – Five seconds before reacting = control.

    Comeback Bank – Calm, short replies like “Noted.” or “Interesting.”

    One Daily Compliment – Kindness is a quiet form of dominance.

    Friend Triangle – Trust circle, class buddy, fun friend.

    Micro-Wins Journal – Confidence grows in small, daily victories.

    Drama Detox – If it won’t matter in a week, drop it.

    Boundaries, No Apologies – “No, thanks” is a full sentence.

    Fuel Up – Sleep, water, food — confidence runs on fuel.

    Roleplay Resilience – Practice for the awkward, mean, and unexpected.

    The 24-Hour Rule – Never post or react while heated.

    Private Pep Squad – Code word for quick encouragement.

    Skill Outside School – Master something else to boost all-around confidence.

    Humor as Armor – A smile or joke flips tension on its head.

    Know the Allies – Find a trusted teacher or staff member.

    Think Bigger – School is a chapter, not the whole book.

    Celebrate the Wins – Call out the moments they owned it.

    Read it. Believe it. Live it.

    Saint Says:

    “Confidence isn’t about being loud. It’s about being unshakable. Whether you’re rocking a backpack or a briefcase, the rule is the same — own your space and never give it away for free.”

  • From Sucker to Sentinel — 54 Rules from Saint Dirty Face

    Robert

    Nobody’s born a Sentinel.

    It’s a title you earn — the hard way.

    You start out a sucker.

    Trusting the wrong people. Believing the right words from the wrong mouths. Handing out second chances like coupons.

    Then life happens.

    And by “life,” we mean betrayal, heartbreak, gut punches, and all the lessons you didn’t sign up for.

    One by one, you learn the rules — sometimes in whispers, sometimes in sucker punches.

    These aren’t “feel-good” tips or Pinterest quotes.

    These are survival laws.

    The rules that turn you from the easy target to the one nobody dares take a shot at.

    If you’re tired of being the mark, here’s your blueprint.

    Read them. Learn them. Live them.

    Chapter 1 — The Ground Rules

    Your worth isn’t in your looks. Pretty fades. Character doesn’t. Disrespect you once, shame on them. Twice? They’re gone. Walking away without explaining yourself is self-respect. Your body is yours — not for rent, not for trade. Attention is cheap. Respect is priceless.

    Chapter 2 — Power Plays

    Charm without character is poison in sugar. Money skills = freedom skills. Learn both. High standards aren’t arrogance — they’re quality control. Self-respect makes you glow more than makeup or muscle ever could. If they lie once, you’ve just read the prequel.

    Chapter 3 — Life Armor

    Kindness only to you but cruelty to others? That’s a mask. Learn to change a tire, balance a budget, and say “Hell no.” Guard your peace like it’s the last of its kind. Feed your mind more than your feed. Don’t share your dreams with dream-killers.

    Chapter 4 — The Inner Game

    Your gut is your best lie detector. “No” is a complete sentence. Never be Plan B. Speak up — your silence serves nobody. Confidence is built, not bought.

    Chapter 5 — High Ground

    Standards before heels. Always. Beauty fades. Ugly character doesn’t. If you’re not growing, you’re dying. Solitude is a forge. Step in, step out sharper. People who care don’t need reminders.

    Chapter 6 — The Hard Boundaries

    Disagree without disrespect. Heat isn’t love — stop confusing the two. Breaking promises to yourself is self-betrayal. You’re not a rehab center for the broken. Power reveals character. Watch it closely.

    Chapter 7 — Guardrails

    Boundaries keep you alive, not lonely. Access is earned, not assumed. If you have to fix them first, they’re not for you. Jealous “friends” are just enemies in street clothes. Walk away and don’t turn back.

    Chapter 8 — The Solo Code

    Alone > disrespected. Real class doesn’t need an audience. Defend yourself — in words, in fists, in presence. Self-discipline beats motivation every time. Own the room like you built it.

    Chapter 9 — Self-Mastery

    Heal yourself, even if you didn’t cause the wound. Enjoy your own company first. Curiosity pays better than comfort. Sharp mind + kind heart = unshakable. Learn to cook — independence tastes better.

    Chapter 10 — The Filter

    Questions are armor. Use them. Own your choices — even the ugly ones. Watch how they treat animals. That’s the truth. Gossip with you? They gossip about you. Comfort zones can kill growth.

    Chapter 11 — The Final Word

    Control isn’t care. Don’t confuse the two. What you tolerate becomes your normal. Keep your circle small and loyalty tight. Your light isn’t negotiable. Protect it.

    Saint Dirty Face says:

    “A sucker waits to be saved.

    A Sentinel saves themselves.”

  • Turbo Mode: When It’s Time to Bring Out the Big Guns

    Robert

    Quit the Limp – A Saint Dirty Face Protocol, Part 4

    By Saint Dirty Face

    Disclaimer from The Wounded Sentinel (also known as Saint Dirty Face):

    This is the line between “I want to feel better” and “I want to perform better, every damn day.” Turbo Mode isn’t about ego — it’s about quality of life. And it’s not a toy. You work with your doctor, you monitor your labs, and you don’t half-ass it. If you want to go rogue, that’s on you — but don’t say I told you to.

    When Natural Isn’t Enough

    You’ve done the work.

    You’ve slept, lifted, dropped the gut, and run the core stack.

    Your labs still look like they were taken from a man twenty years older.

    That’s when you stop playing nice.

    The Heavy Hitters

    1. TRT (Testosterone Replacement Therapy)

    What it is: Doctor-prescribed testosterone via injection, gel, or pellets. Why it works: Directly raises your testosterone to optimal levels, restoring strength, libido, mood, and focus. Risks: Can lower fertility, requires lifelong commitment if you stay on it. Needs regular labs. Saint Tip: If your doc isn’t testing you every 3–6 months, find one who will.

    2. Clomiphene Citrate (Clomid)

    What it is: A prescription pill that tricks your brain into making more testosterone naturally. Why it works: Stimulates your pituitary to send the “make more T” signal. Best for: Men who want to keep fertility intact. Saint Tip: Works best in men whose issue is signal-based, not testicle-based.

    3. HCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin)

    What it is: Hormone that mimics LH, telling your testes to produce more testosterone and sperm. Why it works: Often used alongside TRT to prevent testicle shrinkage and keep fertility. Saint Tip: Think of it as the co-pilot to TRT when keeping the boys in the fight matters.

    4. DHEA (only if labs show low)

    What it is: A hormone precursor your body can convert to testosterone and other androgens. Why it works: Fills in the gap if your natural production is lagging. Saint Tip: Go slow — too much can spike estrogen.

    The Rules of Turbo Mode

    Work with a doctor who understands male hormone therapy. Track your labs — Total T, Free T, SHBG, Estradiol, Hematocrit, PSA. Don’t overdo it — more isn’t always better; aim for optimal, not “bodybuilder contest peak.” Have an exit plan — know what happens if you decide to stop.

    What Turbo Mode Feels Like

    Strength comes back like you never left. Libido isn’t just alive — it’s prowling. Energy levels hold steady all day. Focus locks in. Recovery from training is faster.

    Saint Dirty Face says:

    “You can’t fake horsepower.

    When the engine’s shot, you rebuild it.

    Turbo Mode isn’t cheating — it’s refusing to limp through the rest of your life.

    And when it’s done right? The limp is gone.”

    Final Mic Drop:

    The Limp is Gone.

  • The Numbers Game: Why Your Blood Tells the Truth

    Robert

    Quit the Limp – A Saint Dirty Face Protocol, Part 3

    By Saint Dirty Face

    Disclaimer from The Wounded Sentinel (also known as Saint Dirty Face):

    This ain’t a “just trust me” game. Testosterone isn’t a vibe — it’s chemistry. You can’t feel your SHBG. You can’t guess your free T. And if you’re guessing? You’re gambling with your results. Talk to your doctor, get your labs, and don’t be an idiot about it.

    Why Numbers Matter

    Too many guys treat their hormones like their gas tank — “Eh, I think I’ve got enough to get home.”

    Then they wonder why they’re stalling on the side of the road with no drive, no strength, and a libido that retired without notice.

    You can sleep better, lift harder, pop the right stack… and still limp along if something in your blood chemistry is off.

    The only way to know? Lab work.

    The Big 6 Tests You Need

    Total Testosterone – The full tank number. Doesn’t tell the whole story, but it’s the baseline. Free Testosterone – The horsepower that’s actually usable. SHBG (Sex Hormone-Binding Globulin) – The handcuffs on your testosterone. High SHBG = less free T. Estradiol (E2) – Your estrogen. Needed in balance, but too high smothers your T. LH & FSH – The pituitary signals that tell your boys to make testosterone. Vitamin D, Zinc, Magnesium – Nutritional co-pilots for hormone production.

    How to Read the Basics

    High Total T + Low Free T + High SHBG → You’ve got testosterone, but it’s locked up. Focus on SHBG-lowering tactics (Tongkat Ali, Boron). Low Total T + Low Free T → You’re just not making enough. Could be lifestyle, nutrient deficiency, or time to talk TRT. High Estradiol → Drop excess fat, clean up diet, consider more cruciferous veggies (broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage). Low Vitamin D, Zinc, Magnesium → No amount of gym time will override a missing building block.

    When to Test

    Baseline: Before you start changing things. Follow-up: 8–12 weeks after implementing the stack and lifestyle changes. Maintenance: Every 6–12 months, or sooner if symptoms return.

    The Saint Dirty Face Rule of Labs

    Guessing is for gamblers.

    Blood doesn’t lie.

    If you’re not checking your numbers, you’re basically swinging in the dark hoping you hit the target — and wondering why you keep breaking lamps instead of records.

    Saint Dirty Face says:

    “Numbers don’t care about your feelings.

    They don’t care about the motivational meme you saw.

    They’ll tell you if you’re killing it or coasting.

    And once you know, you either fix it or quit lying to yourself.”