Listen up. Being a dad isn’t all soft-focus commercials and polo shirts tucked into khakis. No, my friend — it’s trench warfare with a thermostat battle on one front, a Wi-Fi password rebellion on the other, and a kitchen sink full of dirty dishes left by people who mysteriously claim they “weren’t even home.”
Rule #1: Grumpy Is the Default Setting
You wake up grumpy. You go to work grumpy. You come home grumpy. And if you’re not grumpy? Someone should check your pulse. Grumpiness is the father’s native tongue — the sigh, the grunt, the eyebrow raise that means “Stop. Right. There.”
Kids think we’re mean. Nah. We’re tired, overcaffeinated, and running on a savings account of patience that expired somewhere in 2007.
Rule #2: Dad Knows Things™
We don’t just know. We KNOW.
Why the AC runs all night? We know. Who left the fridge open? We know. That one shady friend your kid swears is “cool”? Yeah, we know about him too.
Dad knowledge isn’t Google. It’s instinct, scars, and the kind of paranoia that kept cavemen alive.
Rule #3: The Tools of the Trade
The Remote: Excalibur. Don’t touch it. The Coffee Mug: Grail of survival. Fill it, or risk war. The Glasses on My Head: Symbol of both wisdom and the fact that I’ll spend 20 minutes looking for them. The Sigh: A low-frequency growl passed down through dad DNA. It can stop a kid mid-sentence.
Rule #4: Beneath the Dirt
Here’s the part nobody talks about: dads aren’t just grumpy old encyclopedias. We’re the ones who’ll stand in the fire — paycheck, pride, and sanity on the line — just so our family sleeps safe. Our grumpiness is armor. Our knowledge is ammo. And our love? That’s the one thing we’ll never let die, even if it means we do.
So yeah — being a dad is grumpy wisdom wrapped in a tired laugh and a quiet, unshakable vow.
Stay Dirty. Stay Dadly. Stay Away From The Damn Thermostat™.
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Saint Dirty Face™
Stay Dirty, Stay Dangerous™
Saint Dirty Face 
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