Before the world got baptized by calendars and coffee pots, Saturday belonged to Saturn—the god of time, rest, and well-earned laziness.

The ancients didn’t “squeeze in errands” or “meal-prep for Monday.” They honored the sacred art of doing absolutely nothing.

Sunday? That’s a trap. It’s a psychological pre-Monday dressed in false sunshine and football.

But Saturday—that’s rebellion.

That’s sleep-in, sin-a-little, stretch-your-soul day.

The only true sabbath of the modern heathen.

Stay dirty. Stay resting. Stay pagan.™