The Saints, The Sinners, and the Setlist to End All Setlists

NSFW | LOUD | UNAPOLOGETIC

🔥 Welcome to the ultimate wet dream of music, madness, and mayhem.

Tonight, we’re not just talking concerts —

We’re talking apocalyptic, sweat-soaked, black-lace-wrapped, whiskey-screaming, eargasmic chaos.

We’re talking about a dream date so sinful, the Devil himself would throw a backstage pass at your feet and whisper,

“Save me a dance, baby.” 😈

💥 THE ERA SHOWDOWN:

💋 Hippie Drug Love Gods:

Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Kiss, Black Sabbath — the wizards who turned guitars into spells and bedrooms into temples.

🍸 Glam Slam Bam, Thank You Ma’am:

Mötley Crüe, Guns N’ Roses, Def Leppard, Bon Jovi — hair big, heels high, egos HIGHER.

🖤 Grunge Blackout:

Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, Nirvana, Soundgarden — sex in the dark, cigarettes in the rain, heartbreak in every lyric.

🥀 Nu-Metal Carnage:

Korn, Godsmack, Slipknot, Deftones, Tool — the soundtrack to your best mistakes and your dirtiest fantasies.

🎤 Wildcards Forever:

Metallica & Ozzy — because they f***ing invented staying power.

🍑 ROBERT’S GOD-TIER FANTASY LINEUP:

Godsmack (for when you need your ribs rattled) Kiss (for the tongue… you know the one) Mötley Crüe (for tequila, tattoos, and terrible decisions) Tool (for the tantric, brain-melting sonic ride) Led Zeppelin (for the raw, sweaty, primal soul)

Venue: The Sphere, Las Vegas. Neon sin meets surround sound heaven.

Ticket: $400 each. Two, baby. One for me, one for the ride-or-die.

🕷️ VAYLEN ASH’S APOCALYPSE LINEUP:

Led Zeppelin (because we need the gods) Soundgarden (Chris Cornell = sex voice) Guns N’ Roses (slash my heart, baby) Tool (mindf*** deluxe) Metallica (war drums, battle cries, orgasms)

Venue: Red Rocks Amphitheatre, Colorado — under the stars, under the influence.

Ticket: $500. Worth every moral compromise.

💣 THE VIBE CHECK:

Fishnet stockings on stage and in the crowd. Leather pants so tight they count as a blood pressure cuff. Hair sweaty, bodies grinding, voices hoarse. Somebody’s girlfriend making out with somebody’s wife. Somebody’s grandma crowd-surfing because why the hell not. You, waking up somewhere you do not recognize, whispering, “Worth it.”

🔥 ERA KINGS:

👑 Talent: Hippie era.

👑 Songwriting: Grunge.

👑 Party chaos: Glam, hands-down.

👑 Get-up-and-move? Nu-metal — they’ll beat your pulse into submission.

🍷 BONUS CHAOS GUESTS:

Rage Against the Machine (protest chic) Janis Joplin (whiskey in human form) Nine Inch Nails (let’s get weird) AC/DC (for pure, dumb, glorious rock)

🕶️ FINAL WORD:

This isn’t just music.

It’s religion.

It’s rebellion.

It’s a spiritual undressing at the altar of noise, sweat, and starlight.

So yeah… I’d pay.

I’d go.

I’d sin.

And I’d thank every holy and unholy thing on the way out.

⚠️ DANGER LEVEL:

💥 18+ Only

💥 Not for the faint of heart

💥 Side effects may include: hoarse voice, lost shoes, existential crisis, spontaneous tattoos, unplanned forgiveness, or wicked regret.

🖤 SAINT DIRTY FACE™ STATEMENT:

Imperfect on purpose. Sharp-tongued by design. NSFW by divine accident.