Tonight, I watched a movie about Dracula.
Yeah, I know… not exactly where you expect to find God.
But there He was.
Not in lightning.
Not in miracles.
Not in easy answers.
He was in the silence.
The story wasn’t about a vampire.
It was about a man who loved his wife so deeply that when he lost her… he broke.
Not the kind of break where you cry and move on.
The kind where something inside you says:
“If God won’t fix this… then I don’t want God.”
So he turned his back.
But here’s the part that hit me…
He never actually stopped believing.
For 400 years, he carried it.
The anger.
The grief.
The memory of her.
And somewhere underneath all that pain…
he still believed God could bring her back.
That’s not lost faith.
That’s wounded faith.
And there’s a difference.
I sat there tonight with my wife asleep next to me.
She said she felt safe.
Then she knocked out like the world didn’t exist.
And I just held her.
Because the truth is…
I’ve told her since day one:
“If anything ever happens to you… I’d burn the world to get you back.”
And for a long time… I meant that.
Still do, in a way.
But the movie showed me something I didn’t expect.
Love doesn’t prove itself by destroying everything in its path.
That’s pain talking.
That’s fear.
That’s a man trying to fight a loss he can’t control.
The strongest moment wasn’t when he fought.
It wasn’t when he cursed God.
It was when he finally chose…
to let her go.
That’s when everything changed.
That’s when love became something bigger than possession.
Bigger than grief.
Bigger than even death.
I realized something tonight.
God didn’t abandon him.
God let him walk through it.
Every second. Every year. Every broken piece.
Not to punish him…
But to teach him what love really is.
And maybe that’s where some of us are right now.
Not abandoned.
Just… in the middle of it.
Holding on to something fragile.
Trying not to break.
If that’s you…
Let me say this clearly:
Your faith isn’t gone.
It’s just wounded.
And wounded things… can heal.
Tonight, I didn’t burn the world.
I just held my wife a little tighter.
And for the first time…
that felt like enough.
— Saint Dirty Face™
Stay dirty, kiss like a sinner, but talk like a saint.™
Saint Dirty Face 