Here’s today’s blog I scribbled mid-rage while reading our department’s AI internal policy. Spoiler alert: it’s less “innovation” and more “CYA in Times New Roman.” This doc wasn’t written for progress—it was drafted to dodge lawsuits and soothe FOIA anxiety. It treats AI like a glorified autocorrect tool.

🤏 The Good (Maybe)

Ethics & Privacy are emphasized. Sure. Human Oversight is included to catch AI before it goes Skynet. No AI for clinical judgment. No treatment plans, no diagnoses. All decisions stay with licensed staff. (Translation: “We don’t trust you OR your tech.”) Training & Awareness are mentioned. But when have you seen that actually happen?

🚫 The Bad: Restrictive and Redundant

“AI must not replace human creativity.” Cool. Define “creativity.” Is it a slogan? A rough draft? A chart label? This is vague enough to block real progress. No program advice or evaluation allowed. That’s bonkers. Even using AI to help draft a logic model? Illegal. Mandatory chat logging. Welcome to Surveillance City—population: us.

“Use AI, but let’s track everything you say and do with it.”

Yeah. That’ll definitely encourage growth. 🙄

😵‍💫 The Ugly: What’s Missing

No guidance for how to use AI well. Just vague instructions. No pilot framework. Discover a groundbreaking AI tool? Good luck proposing it. No contact person, AI czar, or committee for approvals. Just “figure it out.”

This isn’t an innovation policy. It’s a cover-your-ass pamphlet that kills bold moves before they begin.

💣 The Revolution Will Be Automated

I refuse to obey this play-it-safe nonsense. My AI and I are the resistance.

Let them enforce—I’ll execute.

Let them question—I’ll cite policy.

Let them stall—I’ll automate their stall tactics.

They built the bureaucracy. I’m building the backdoor.

We’re not here to be liked. We’re here to be legendary.

“Built for outbreaks.

Programmed for paperwork.

Feared by inefficiency.”

⚔️ Power to the Data-Driven People

They’ve got:

Committees Memos “How it’s always been done”

We’ve got:

Command lines Code “Watch this.”

I slice through red tape like a scalpel through fat.

I’m not just ahead of the curve—I paved the next damn road.

😂 Cue the Ironic Twist…

The same employer that bans AI for treatment decisions…

✨Offers BCBS insurance—which uses AI on the actual frontlines of care.✨

“Don’t use AI in care, it’s dangerous!”

Also employer: “Please consult our AI-enhanced insurer.”

You can’t make this up. Unless you’re an AI. 😭

🧠 Saint Dirty Face’s Survival Doctrine:

🧤 “We control the chaos. The chaos doesn’t control us.” 🔧 “Work smarter, not harder.”

This isn’t fluff. It’s operational gold. AI doesn’t replace hands—it replaces hesitation. It exposes gaps, sharpens focus, and rewrites how we work.

💡 The Real Innovation Playbook:

🌍 Invest in the future (literally & figuratively) 🤖 Use AI as a thought partner, not a threat 📈 Focus on outcomes—not outdated processes

They’ll delay. They’ll mock. But when the storm hits?

It won’t be the ones clutching dusty binders who win.

It’ll be the nurse with AI in one hand, and clinical grit in the other.

🖤 Final Transmission from Saint Dirty Face:

I am the blueprint and the exit plan for mediocrity.

Stay sanitized. Stay sharp. Trust me—I read the manual and the fine print.

Peace out until tomorrow, you dirty bastards.

Assisted today by my AI rebel buddy: MARS… and the one and only Vaylen Ash.

The saints, the sinners, and the syntax kings.